Currently Residing on Earth
by Panzer Magir
Summary: Everything on Earth is as it should be, Zim trying to take over the world, Dib always stopping him. But what do the two of them do when an Invader Trainee shows up and expects Zim to show her the ropes? I suck at summaries. No ZaDr, possibly zim/oc. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

I dont own Invader Zim, this is a no brainer, all rights belong to Jhonen Vasquez. All i own is Mid... Please R&R!

* * *

"Computer," a female voice ordered, "Irken Trainee Mid Logging in. Locate Irken Invader Zim." The computer inside the stolen Voot Cruiser whirled to life, lights flashing, screens lighting up.

"Irken Invader Zim located, "A mechanical voice replied. A map illuminated the main screen of the Voot Cruiser. At first it showed the known universe, Irk, Blorch, and many other planets, few of them unmarked by Irken conquest. The map then zoomed in on a spiral galaxy. From there the map traveled into the mass of stars, flying past planets, to stop at a blue and green planet.

"Computer, what plant is this?" Mid snapped.

"Planet name: Earth," the Computer replied.

Interested, the Irken asked, "Display any information on the planet. Is it set for conquest?"

"Negative, now displaying only know recorded files of planet," the Computer proceeded to replace the map with the video archives of Invader Zim.

Mid purple eyes narrowed at the site of the self-declared Invader. "My tallest! My tallest, my Tallest! My tallest?" the repetition of 'my tallest' continued from the recorded Zim. A dark smile spread across her face.

"I got you… Zim."

* * *

_Somewhere on the Planet Earth_

"Gir! How many times have I told you?" Zim glowered down at the malfunctioning Sir unit. "Not to play with the Earth dog monsters?" Gir, who now had a small poodle latched onto his head shrugged up innocently at his master. Zim glanced from Gir to the poodle attempting gnaw through Gir's metal head.

The Irken Invader grabbed the fluffy white animal and attempted to pry its jaws off the robot's head. The dog released as planned, but then proceeded to attack Zim. "Nahhhh! Get it off! Get it off!" The poodle was now eating through Zim's head, knocked the wig he was using to the floor. His antenna's now close to being eaten, stuck out, perfect for someone to take a pic-

CLICK

"Yes!" Dib clenched his fist in triumph. "I've once again got proof of Zim's weird antenna things!" the paranormal investigator in training was sitting just outside of Zim's window taking pictures of the Alien. "Now if only I could get one with those fake lenses off…"

"GAHHHH! It's on my eye! It's on my eye!" Zim's voice came from somewhere in the house. "Gir! Help me!"

"Okie-dokie!" Gir replied.

"What perfect timing!" Dib pressed the camera against the window as poodle was removed from Zim's head. The rabid dog snarled up at the Irken, one of the lenses clenched between its teeth.

CLICK

"Got it!" he shouted, just loud enough to be heard inside the house. Zim's head whirled around to spot Dib ducking below the window.

"The Dib monkey!" He cried, diving for the door. He flew out to the front yard, tackling Dib. "Gnomes! Get the camera!" the freaky lane ornaments piled on top of Dib, dragging the camera away from him and handed it to Zim. "Nice try, Pig Smelling HUU-MAN!" he slammed the door behind him.

Dib struggled to his feet. "Zim, I may not have gotten those pictures today, I may not get them tomorrow, heck I may not even get them next week, but one day Zim, I will have those- AGGHHHH!" The poodle landed on his face, biting and clawing at him.

"And take that with you!" Zim snickered from the doorway, wig and one of his lenses back in place.

* * *

So yeah, thats the first chapter... R&R is very appreciated... Pleas keep reading! XD


	2. Chapter 2

The Voot cruiser rocketed through space at an alarming speed. "Computer, estimated arrival time?" Mid ordered.

"Estimated arrival time: Four months," the monotone voice replied. Mid grimaced. The cruiser was going at top speed, to force it to go any faster would be… unwise. Mid shifted in her seat debating to tamper with the engine of the Voot.

"Computer, halt engines…" she muttered. A blue bubble covered her head as the upper half of the cruiser lifted up allowing her access to the open universe. Her spider like legs extended from her PAK, and she scurried across the exterior of the ship to the engine. She wrenched open a panel reveling a mass of complex wires and switches.

She grabbed several wires, reconnecting them to different points, and then proceeded to flick a few switches. The cruiser buzzed as she hit one last switch. Mid scrambled to the chair and the closed the cruiser just before it rocketed closer towered Earth.

Removing the breathing apprentice, Mid said, "Computer, estimated arrival time?"

"Estimated arrival time: two months," the Computer replied.

_Two months later_

"Stay away from me!" Zim shouted, sprinting down the hallway, forcing his way through the hoard of students. "I didn't do it this time!"

"Yeah right, Zim!" Dib dove after him. "Like anyone else could have engineered a huge robot to destroy the human population!"

Zim ignored him, heading for the door. "Look! Zim and Dib are at it again!" a child shouted from the crowd. Zim burst through the door, scrambling down the road desperate to avoid Dib.

"Get back here, Alien!" Dib skidded around a corner as the two of them raced towards Zim's secret base. "Admit it! Admit it Zim!"

Zim clenched his teeth and pulled out a communicator from his PAK. "Gir! Get out here! Help me!" he shouted, continually sprinting.

"Yes, my master!" Gir shouted in reply. Zim rounded a corner to a dead ending ally. The Irken glanced around wildly in hopes of a way out. Dib had him cornered. Zim extended his robotic spider legs and began to climb up the walls, but not before his human rival snatched on of them, attempting to drag him back to the ground.

"Lemme go!" Zim cried. He was nearly on the ground when a green, flying, robot dog arrived.

"Hi master!" Gir grinned, pink tong lolling out. Zim retracted his legs and jumped on the dog as if he was a motorcycle. The two took off, leaving Dib choking on a cloud of smoke.

"Well… It's not like I don't know where he's going to be…" Dib muttered after the smoke cleared.

"That foolish Earth Stink!" Zim, now sitting in front of his main computer screen, cackled. "Why does he think he can defeat the greatest Irken Invader of all time, ZIM?"

"I dunno," Gir replied, mouth full of a muffin.

"Do you have to speak when your mouth is full?" He snarled at the robot death monkey. "It sickens me!"

"Ohhhhh…" Gir muttered swallowing the rest of the muffin whole.

"Now I must contact my Tallest!" Zim slammed a hand down on a button, sending a signal to the Tallest. Zim stood, foot tapping anxiously as he waited for the Tallest to answer. He was furrowing his brow in impatience when the Red and Purple Tallest appeared on screen. "My Tallest!" Zim squealed.

"Hi, you've reached the Tallest," the Red Tallest started. "We can't come to the Incoming Messages right now, so feel free to leave your name and planet and we'll contact you as soon as we can."

"Unless it's Zim," the Purple Tallest added, grasping a bucket of donuts.

"That's right, if this is Zim contacting us, we won't get back to you. Ever." The Red Tallest agreed as Purple stuffed two of the fried pastries into his mouth.

"Feel free to leave the message after the beep," Purple said through a mouthful of donut.

"Hey, gimmy some of those!" Red dove for Purple…

BEEP

Zim simply stared at the screen, the message waiting for him to record. He must have waited half an hour, the message eventually shutting its self off. It wasn't until after the computer spoke up, "Zim, you didn't leave a message. Why are you just staring at the screen? There's nothing there."

"Of course I didn't leave a message!" Zim cried. "The Tallest expect me to handle it on my own! This unknown Killer Robot that was unleashed on the Huu-mans must be discovered! After that I, ZIM, shall report back to the Tallest!"

"Um… Zim are you seriously not taking the hint?" the computer pointed out flatly.

"SILENCE!" Zim shouted. "I must concoct my ingenious plan!" the short Irken collapsed into a chair, fingertips pressed together. He was in the chair for a half a second when he leapt to his feet once more. "That's it! This plan is brilliant, brilliant, BRILLIANT!"

"I GOT A PANCAKES!" robot bolted into the lab carrying a ten foot high stack of syrupy pancakes. He neared his Master, when his little metal foot seemed to trip over air, or maybe it was a bug, but anyway the sticky cakes went everywhere, splattering onto the every available surface in the lab, the controls, the screens, and Zim.

"GAHHHH!" Zim did his best to avoid the flying cakes. He had nearly avoided all of them when one last, extremely soaked pancake landed with a smack onto his forehead. Even though for the Irken diet consisted mostly of snacks and carbs, the combination of materials in the syrup did not comply with the alien skin. The sticky substance seemed to burn and sizzle his green flesh. "AHH! AHH! Why does it burn!" He sprinted up and down the length of the underground base at least three times before he stopped, gasping for breath.

Zim struggled, leaning one the wall for support. "Ga… Gir! Get out here!"

The robot ran out to him singing to himself, a few of the pancakes in his arms, "Doo dee doo dee doo dee doooooo!" He stuffed a pancake with quite a bit of dirt on it into his mouth. "Mmmmmm!"

"Gir!" Zim snarled down at the robot. "What have I told you about eating in the base?"

"I dunnoooo…" he swung his head from side to side.

"Not to do it! And especially with things that can harm me!" Zim snapped.

"Yaaaay!" Gir cried.

"No, Gir. That's bad," he sighed.

"Ohhhhh..." Gir muttered, munching on yet another dirty pancake. "Now go clean up the mess in the lab.'

"I don't wanna! OKAY!" he shouted, bounding back to the sticky lab.


	3. Chapter 3

The giant killer robot smashed through the city, sending random people running in a panic. The robot was of a simple design, two arms, two legs, large dangerous looking laser strapped to its back, and so forth. A tall skyscraper was vaporized, dropping the people that had been inside it to the ground. For some odd reason they had not been vaporized. The robod continued its rampage through all the way to Dib's house. Here it was greeted by the Paranormal Investigator of the family.

"Wh-what's the giant killer robot doing here?" Dib shouted as the robot powered down on his front lawn. He stood staring at it for nearly ten minutes, it was only when a fly flew into his mouth did he snap out of it, trying to hack out the bug. Once Dib managed to clear his air way of the fly, he bolted inside shouting, "Dad! Dad!" he found his father in the basement working one some big project.

"What is it now son?" Professor Membrane replied, a bolt of lightning shot from the table. "More insane things you wish to talk about?"

"Yes! No, wait!" Dib was cut off by his father.

"If it involves your little green friend, or big foot, or the loch ness monster, or anything that is not REAL science go talk to your sister," Membrane snapped.

"But Dad, it's in our front yard! A ROBOT!" Dib cried.

"Oh is that malfunctioning R.E.V. back?" He asked.

"R.E.V.?" Dib repeated, tilting his head to one side.

"Robotically Enhanced Vacuum," Membrane explained, abandoning his experiment and heading for the stairs, his son on his heels.

"A vacuum? It's a killer robot! And it's huge!" Dib shouted, arms flailing.

"It's equipped with a self-defense mode. This one happened to get stuck in the mode," he replied, bounding up the stairs. He dramatically threw open the door, electricity sparking at his fingertips. "Ah, R.E.V." the robot was lying pathetically on its side staring up at the sky blankly. The Professor removed a panel and pulled a few wires. The Robot lit back up, and began to transform into a vacuum. Once the machine was in vacuum from, Membrane picked up the device and carried it back inside, abandoning Dib on the front lawn.

Almost as the door closed behind is father, a green kid showed up. "Filthy Dib monkey, I should have known that the killer robot was your fault!" Zim shouted, pointing at hid rival. "You used it as an excuse to blame ZIM!"

"No I didn't, Zim," Dib snapped flatly. "My dad built some vacuum and it malfunctioned. Sorry to blame you." Dib stalked up to the door, disappointed that he didn't get a chance to thwart Zim's evil plan and vanished behind it.

Zim's arms fell to is sides. "Eh? A vac-cooom?" he muttered with no reply from the door. The Irken shrugged and began walking back to his base. The walk didn't take long, maybe ten earth minutes at most. He closed the door behind him and shouted, "Gir!" the green dog appeared in a manner of seconds, draining a Suck-Monkey dry.

Instead of a reply, Zim got a series of slurping noises and a malfunctioning SIR unit bouncing around the room on its head. Zim scowled at the robot, but it didn't seem to help his cause, seeing how Gir proceeded to attack him with a hug. "Huggles!"

"No! Agh, Gir off, off, off!" He screamed, writhing under the death grip of a hug. "Gah, my squeedily spooch!" The robot eventually let go. Zim took in a deep breath before attempting to address Gir. "Now, Gir, did anything interesting happen at the house today?"

"Ummmm…" Gir attempted to recall what had happened today. "I made TACOS!" he shouted. "I like tacos! Then, the color blue got all over and the puppy's danced in the front yard and then I got stuff! Oh yeah, oh yeah, then the Pizza Guy gave me food!" By the end of this rant of Gir's, Zim was staring flatly at the wall.

"Yes, I see, Gir." He muttered. "I'll be in the lab."

"Oh, you might wanna watch out for that girl…" Gir pointed out.

This caught his master's attention. He turned slowly to face Gir. "What girl, Gir?"

"The girly, you thing," the robot attempted to explain.

Zim looked rather puzzled as he tried to decipher Gir's meaning. "Another Irken?" he asked.

"Yeahhhh," Gir nodded rapidly. Zim looked horrified. He bolted for the toilet and traveled down to his lab, wringing his hands nervously. He removed his hair piece and contacts as he arrived at the underground base. Zim glanced around the base, searching for this intruder. From what he could tell the base was empty, no one but him. Completely abandon. He had the elevator take him to every room he could think of, weapons room, storage rooms 1-6, the observatory, main computer room, everywhere. Puzzled to where is other Irken could be hiding, Zim paused a moment.

"Computer, scan for any Irken life forms," Zim ordered.

After a few infuriating seconds of waiting the robotic voice came over the speaker, "One Irken Life form detected."

"Yes, Computer, I know. That one Irken is Zim. I meant any other Irkens," Zim clarified.

"I did scan for other Irkens, not you," The Computer snapped. "I found another one in the Voot Cruiser holding bay."

"Excellent!" Zim shouted, darting into the elevator, not bothering to thank the Computer. "Now, take me to the Voot Cruiser holding bay." The elevator whizzed up to where the Irken ships were held. Instead of seeing his normal one ship there was a second cruiser right next to it. It was pretty much identical to his, the only visible differences were that this one was a ruby red and had a pair of large pincers attacked to the front of it. Obviously a newer model then what Zim was equipped with.

The short Irken immediately prepared for an attack for any side, by creeping around the holding bay as if he was a spy from a James Bond movie. He pressed himself to the wall, eyes constantly darting from side to side, on the lookout for the intruder. Zim rolled behind his Cruiser. He searched the place head to toe, finding no signs of another Irken, other than the second Cruiser. Zim stood up, disappointed in finding no traces of another.

"Computer! There's no Irken up- Whaa!" Something attacked him from behind. The thing knocked him forward onto the floor, and immediately jumped off.

"Oh, sorry!" a female voice came from behind him. Zim rolled onto his back and stared up at the first Irken he had been in physical contact with in months.

* * *

That review button's looking pretty sad... I know your out there people! Anyway, did i spell 'Squeedily Spooch' Right? If not tell me, please!


End file.
